Sometimes there is more movement in stillness, in one breath there contains the world - and the space between.

Today, I simply breathe...

...and feel the fear, and the love...and the blur of the lines between them both.

I saw two of these racing this weekend on the bay...I SO WANT TO LEARN THIS:

http://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/media/06/0424/

...they were going 15-20knots EASILY...and though we were bookin' it at 6.8knots, these guys were flying around us like...well, MOTHS!

Looks like WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!

As an entrepreneur, I am always one in-breath away from homelessness, one out-breath away from untold success…and in the breathing, I am free.

Where I choose to breathe, is how I see my purpose, how I choose to breathe is a moment chosen, a moment believed, a moment shared…that life is only a journey in which I choose a path…unique to only my expression, but shared with all that surrounds the Universe as the vibration of my breath is felt by all and all felt by me.

Today, I breathe…and feel the freedom of my choices and those whose choices I breathe in.

The rest is as it should be....as it will be.

I woke this morning, to the sound of songbirds. I know they weren’t real – couldn’t be, because I live on the fifth floor of a concrete building in the middle of downtown…but the sound of songbirds stirred my sleep this morning and woke me…smiling.

I’ve been learning so much about my nature these last weeks…the light…and the shadows…I know without Mother Nature, I fall apart ---first…then I find her where I can…I simply have to sharpen my eye, bring stillness to my fears, and she is here…Always.

I can’t get his eyes out of my mind…this homeless man that I met this weekend. Eyes the color of the sky, with the depth of the Universe…riveting, true. There are so many homeless people here in the city, along the harbor, in the parks…someone told me that in some northern cities, they actually give their homeless one-way bus tickets out of town (though it’s illegal I hear). And since San Diego has such nice weather, I’m sure it’s a popular destination…It makes me wonder how the homeless population will change/shift in the aftermath of the housing/credit fiasco we’re experiencing. Will I see more women, children on my walks? There’s a huge St. Vincents several blocks from here, so I am sure many will go there….

So back to this Saturday…I’d gotten up early so that I could get some much needed coffee before walking down to the pier for the beach cleanup…and I wanted to bring my food donation to one of the folks I saw along the walk. It’s interesting, but the small gesture of giving a loaf of bread and some peanut butter or tuna to a fellow human has become a habit now…and I can’t explain the connection or the emotion I feel, but know it’s always the EYES that connect us…and I get more nourishment from that connection than I realize. Maybe it’s an ego thing, or I miss my friends, or “but for the grace of god…” fear release…I’m not sure, it could be any and all of those things…and it could also be the soul connections ---Mother Nature of a mirrored kind.

On my walk (with coffee in hand), I started looking for someone…and after I passed several folks, I realized what I was doing…I was judging “who would/who would not” ----why? And who am I to judge, but there I was…mindful to hear myself say “this guy is looking for recycling, so he’ll have money for food or whatever later today” or “this woman is too fat and look at those shoes, she obviously doesn’t need this”…on and on, I judged, until I caught myself and decided…No, stop “looking” for anyone…simply make each step you take count toward your destination, breathe in the morning, and let it unfold. And so I did…and the day seemed to clear more as I walked, as I breathed…and listened to the laps of the water, feel the morning air on my skin…and believed in THIS MOMENT and that it will reveal itself as it will…and to simply be present in it.

…and then I saw him. It was hard to miss him actually…with his BRIGHT RED hat in the distance…but the thing that drew me closer was the broom…his sweeping…using a long handle straw broom, he swept the boardwalk of the harbor…with a low soft sway of a dance that sang in the morning. He was obviously homeless with his shopping cart filled with his worldly items. As I walked closer, he raised his head and said, “Have a blessed morning” …and I saw the most incredibly crystal blue eyes I’d ever seen. There was no doubt that this was the person I needed to meet on that particular morning, and so I did…he was my butterfly, my sky, my blade of grass that morning and I am so thankful for that. I saw several butterflies during the cleanup later and met some amazing folks…but the day is held still, by his Crystal Blue Eyes peering out of his brilliant red hat and the whisking of his broom as he danced in the morning. Thank you for your blessing…and the connection.

I spent the day with Mother Ocean, breathing in her salty perfume, swaying in the rhythm of her dances...watching her BE...and feeling the blessing of the day.

I feel like I am at some profound crossroads here –paths that await me – but they seem to diverge from one another…or do they? I’m still unsure what, or why, or how – only IS. The more I read about religion, about science, about myself, the less I really REALLY know ANYTHING for certain. Even my emotions carry a hormone-biased tone. Is my bohemian lifestyle finally taking its toll? ---Vibrations! Vibrations are still the only constant in all my reading, my limited understanding ---Harmonics, waves, frequency ---and dreams, thoughts, stillness. It’s that vibration that I feel from Mother Nature. It’s no wonder I cycle with the moon and feel the little earthquakes, but I’m not that sensitive – I’m really rather dense on so many levels, so maybe it’s simply a question of imagination run amok!

Might be time for a glass of wine… 

…and ponder the Nature of things.

…and chance meetings…like Val, my artist neighbor who invited me to a Buddhist temple later this week.