Wow!

This artist's work is truly astounding...

http://www.robertsturmanstudio.com/

Sometimes, a ritual unfolds that makes saying goodbye a blessing...like freeing a bird and knowing you both are the better for it. I had the most amazing night last night - a communion, a goodbye, a thank you for all that is part of my life ---and letting it flow through me for the last time.

A lesson I learned a long time ago, is to appreciate and take advantage of the moments as they unfold because you never know when the last time is simply that ---that LAST TIME! So yesterday evening, after spending the afternoon packing up my house, the rumblings of a thunderstorm began, followed quickly by flashes of the evening sky. As the storm made its way closer and pitter-patter of raindrops began to sound through the house, I began to think how often I loved being in THIS house while it rained...you see, in the alcove of my front door, I have this wonderful magical waterfall that forms and spashes just at the small and secluded opening of my door. I had often stripped naked (only once during the day, usually at night) and stand under this wonderful shower from heaven - letting it wash over me, invigorate me, tickle my senses. And the back of my house is all windows that backs up to a wood where I watch the wildlife enjoy their world - and share with me. During a storm, the showing is spectacular!

And so it was last night...I quickly turned off all the lights, opened the door -stripped naked and walked outside watching the waterfall come down in a torrent of rain ---it was mesmerizing how when the sky flashed, the water droplets stood still - like a strobe, suddenly all was caught in time, suspended - still. THIS MOMENT and NO OTHER. I stood there in awe for the longest time - simply watching and being grateful for this moment - and my place in it. WOW!

Then after that one last waterfall shower, I walked inside, made some African Bush Tea, started a fire, and simply continued to BE...and be grateful for the time that I had in the house, these walls, these inhabitants that I share my world (and otherworld) with. This is a magical place - a place of amazing energy and my only hope is that my renters will also be grateful for their time there. I don't expect to live there again. I had always known it was temporary - a place to heal, a place to find my center again...and then my journey would continue. I am so grateful for the warm comforting nurturing environment this space has provided me when I needed it most. I know now that it is someone else's time to feel its power and strength - and I will take what it has given me with me, in my heart, in my soul.

Goodbye and thank you!

The Tri is 4 days away...and we all seem to be "cramming" for that last open water swim opportunity. Cramming for a Triathlon is probably not the best training approach, btw. Though I swam the pool while I was in Florida, I hadn't been in open water since the short "swim-with-the-dolphins" surprise last November (an amazing experience for another entry)...So last night (after a weather-related failed attempt on Monday) we swam.

The Quarry is such a wonderful place to swim ---it's an old limestone quarry of unknown depth (but definitely deep) that has since filled with water and has a nice "cliff edge" all around it with a jogging path. It's a great place to do a swim/run combo. The circumference is ~1/2 mile swim.and once you go...you're pretty much committed :)

Now's when I should mention Barb - my hero, my inspiration! She is terrified of swimming and her first Tri was very tramatizing for her swim as she was crying with fear, swimming from swim angel to swim angel...but she finished and did well overall because she kicked @#$@ on the bike and run. And after it was all done, she declared that she was going to do it again the next year...and sure enough, she took swim lessons, did clinics...and swam the next year with so much more confidence and finished great! A real inspiration for determination and accomplishment.

So last night, we gathered, all a tad apprehensive about the "first open water" as the sun was starting to set...and we met a couple of other girls who seemed just as nervous...and in talking to them, it was their FIRST Tri...and one of the girls said the last time she swam, she tied this "Noodle" to her waist as a security measure (there is no lifeguard in the quarry - you are on your own). Cool. Barb was ALL OVER THAT...and soon we all decided to swim in a Pod...and Barb would tie the "Now Dubbed: Noodle of Life" to her waist to give her the added confidence she needed on the swim.

It was a beautiful swim and even though my shoulder still ached, whenever I thought anything negative, I would remember Barb behind me, with her determination and her Noodle of Life, and I would remember my mantra ---"BE THE YACHT, Be The Yacht, Be The Yacht"

Barb, you are The Yacht! Even as you had to double back to "Rescue" the Noodle of Life because it untied from your waist...you ended up swimming further than the rest of us because of it...I am so inspired by you!

I love my friends (...and yeah, Jen, Alli, Christine ---you guys are precious to me!) Thanks for being in my life - no matter where in the world I may be in the coming months - you're in my heart! 

Thanks for being my Noodle of Life :)

Namaste!

Whatever my spiritual beliefs may be at the moment (and they do evolve as I learn more about myself, my world)...I've always maintained my belief in connections between souls, and I look for that in my interactions.

I think synchronicities, connections, and "chemistry" all pretty much align when you are on the right path and so when I have them in my life ---I know I'm doing what I'm destined to do.

I have a connection with many of the people in my life - my friends, my family, even certain acquaintances...but I still look for "That Special Connection" who comes to you as a life partner - a soulmate if you will ---and though I did find that once, circumstances were not in our favor and fear ended up taking the reins --It was still a profound experience and I continue to look for that level of connection...and am not willing to settle for less just to have some"body" to share time with. My heart won't allow that sacrifice.

The journey continues...

Austin: I love this town...with it's amazing music, it's fabulous food, it's electic mix of locals...and the thing that brings it all into focus for me every year is the Keep Austin Weird Festival. Though I missed the first one (I was in Kemah developing my product), I've not missed the last four 5K runs...it exemplifies all that makes Austin an amazing place to live.

Since I'm the bohemian (and seemingly the only one) out of our group of friends, I end up doing this one solo every year. I think something about dressing up in really goofy outfits, and running in 100 degree weather turns most 'normal' folks off ---but to each his/her own, right?

I donned my bohemian butterfly outfit (complete with brightly colored kneesocks) again this year, and once in line for the race, found the "trackers" that I wanted to make sure I beat...the first was the group of 5 or so men dressed in french maid outfits...yeah, I could take them - especially if I had a good tailwind behind my wings.

As I rounded mile two, I kept noticing that a ladybug and I were always passing each other, so she became my next mark...Can a butterfly beat the ladybug in a footrace? Yeah, I think I can....and did.

But after a strong finish, I turned and found (much to my surprise) that I was almost overtaken by a "dark horse" or rather "a Rasta Chicken" ---whew, that would have been thoroughly embarrassing photo finish - especially since the chicken was on a leash (obviously holding him back from his true ability).

Yeah, Austin is Weird - and I love that about this city. My commute to work takes me past the Hudson on the Bend restaurant on 620 where they have these 5 picnic tables painted bright red out front. At various times (usually seasonal, holidays or special Austin days) they'll display relevant items on the tables to make a statement (much like Google does with their logo --which I think is so cool!) ...so the current H-O-T-B theme?   They put one of the picnic tables on the other side of the road...and placed a chicken on top with the other tables having 4-5 additional chickens...so...

 "Why did the chicken cross the road? ----To Keep Austin Weird"

I love how my reality seems to unfold, day to day, and the people I meet along the way always surprise me...and usually in a good way.

In looking for accommodations in Annapolis, I had the good fortune of stumbling across a B&B (just by chance) and when I called them to ask about a better rate for a longer term stay...I met Sophie.

Sophie, along with her 85 year old mom have opened their home to wayward travelers like me...and we simply connected from our first phone conversation which lasted almost an hour. Pretty cool.

So I have been sweating it these last weeks as the two renters who were going to let my house both fell through --and I still haven't rented it yet. I wanted to give Sophie a heads-up about my situation and so called her last night as my travels to Annapolis are contingent on my house renting.

She was so amazing - and even offered (graciously) to defer payment until my house rents - and would rather see me come to Annapolis, be able to work on my business and have the experience, than just "make a buck" ---Of course, I don't want to take advantage of this generous offer, but at the same time ---I can't deny that having this opportunity present itself may just be the reason I SHOULD go ---if nothing else than to meet this wonderful soul and her mother. Connections. Some people go through life seeing enemies at every turn...I really try to see how we are all connected, all united in our fragility, our need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves, our need for meaning in a world of chaos.

To Sophie and her Mom ---thanks for your trust, your kindness, and who knows...our paths may cross after all.

Ahhh, that first sip of coffee ----nothing like tasting it from different parts of my tongue, the hot liquid texture, the warmth of the cup in my hands...especially on a cold rainy morning...Thank you, Ruta Maya ---and all the people, places and things that make up this wonderful cup-o-joe I'm reveling in this morning. :)

(hmmm, reading that makes me truly sound like a caffeine addict --well, ja, which I am, I guess - but if that's my biggest vice, I'll live with it just fine)

So, mmmm, I woke up to a soft summer rain this morning albeit a little later than I usually wake when the sun nudges me to stir by it's early morning rays...but it was nice just the same and I lingered just a little longer just to hear the raindrops on my windows.

Because of the rain today, I actually made it in to work before anyone else, so I have the quiet coffee/musings time that I seem to really miss lately. Since I am decidedly unplugged at home, I usually spend my early mornings at the office catching up on my personal stuff --which used to work great, but now since our office is growing, I don't have that luxury as often as I used to. I'm sure that will change again when I'm on the road - and of course I can always go back to my "traditional journals"  ---wow, that seems so long ago now...writing my thoughts on paper with a pen? Granted, I still do that on occasion, usually at Hamilton Pool...but as a daily ritual...not so often now.

Ahhhh, the quiet hum of the computer, the pitter-patter of raindrops on the metal roof...a quiet time is calling me to spend just a moment now...before the bustle of the day begins.

My house is officially rented ----YEAAAAYYYYYY!

The movers will be coming next Saturday - and I will be on the road to Annapolis on schedule!

...although I may have to delay a couple of days in order to see Carolyn Wonderland and Ruthie Foster at Antone's as an official musical sendoff...Hmmm, besides, Carolyn's song "Homelessness in Austin" seems very poignant now.

I love the way the Universe works. Thank you for the positive vibes and for this experience.

Life is Good.

Indigenous people have always fascinated me...those who make living in harmony with their surroundings, seeing themselves AS nature rather than apart from it. From the Native Americans, the Anasazi to the Inuit to Aboriginal groups to some of the remote tribes in Africa - I would really like to learn more about their world.

A book I read recently gave me a glimpse into what we believe the Anasazi's life was like, as seen through the eyes/heart of a western wanderer (Soul of Nowhere by Craig Childs) - and I've just started reading Songlines (a book about some of our neighbors down under)  - which started my thoughts toward dreamtime...and how the walkabout is very much a part of their lives.

So, hmmmm, perhaps I will look upon my time as a nomad - as my "purely westernized" version of a dreamtime - and try to learn what I can from these cultures as I make my way eastward - then west, but alas only stopping at our own shores. Yeah, it won't come even close to the experience because regardless, I will only see things through my westernized mind, but perhaps - just maybe - I'll feel a nano-second of connection as they do - and That will be more than today.

On this note, I stayed home yesterday to continue my frantic packing - and lo and behold - at NOON, the deer and her fawn came out of the woods in my backyard and wandered about. The Native Americans believe that seeing a deer is a call to new adventure, so isn't it appropriate that I see them now (and I had not seen them for a couple of months now, so it made my heart smile). The last two Sundays that I went into the office, I also saw a deer (only one) in the yard outside the building.

I do like the sentiment of seeing nature's messages around me, urging me toward my destiny.  Life, she is indeed...awe inspiring.

In two days the movers will take everything into storage, minus what I can give away or take to Goodwill. How did I accumulate so much STUFF? I don't consider myself a packrat and I've moved so often over the course of the last five years...Gone are the "poor starving college days" when I could fit everything I owned into a carload (and usually not my own - since I had a bicycle). But I will cull things down even further for the next move...which will be in a MONTH!

It's hard to believe that within days I'll be on the road again...I'm actually looking forward to the drive as I think I can use the rest at this point. *sheesh*

On another note...I've been thinking about doing a geocaching ritual for the trip - something to do with music and art/drawings/photography that "sings" the journey I am about to embark on. Think that could be fun and inspirational, and give me something to do on the long drive. Wish I had a GPS to track my lat/long, but hmmm, maybe I'll just wing it, I mean, Hell, did the ancient natives have GPS? I'll just tune into my bioelectricalmagnetic energy ---which could use a tuning anyway.

Mother Nature: My teacher, My Church. I woke up this morning in pure silence. No birds, no wind, no human noise...stillness - and there was a melody in this that resonated with me. As I laid there, drenched in the rising sunshine, feeling the peacefulness that I can't really describe, my mind started down the "I wonder how many mornings I'll be able to experience this again as I begin wandering..." path and had to stop myself to BE IN THE MOMENT AGAIN. Amazing how the mind works - and overworks.

But as I began my morning ritual of silent coffee meditation and watching my backyard come to life...I started to see the mornings events come to life...

First I saw my familiar squirrel crossing the wire on its way to begin the morning routine. Right to left...always. But then it stopped, twitched it's tail in obvious excitement and perhaps agitation...and just stayed mid-wire for a very long time, then ran back and forth, back and forth. Odd! Something was definitely getting him excited. Then I noticed her...the mother deer, just inside the wood, reaching up toward the trees to eat the soft new summer growth. She is beautiful. And as I watched her in awe, simply feeling her energy and taking in the view of the soft wind swaying the long grasses and tree limbs surrounding her....I saw a blur whiz past my view... "What was that?"  ...and then I spotted it again...popping up like Tigger on Springs - the FAWN. How spry she was, how agile, how full of life's energy!!!

I quickly got my camera and started quietly closer to the window to watch this little ball of spotted energy dart around my backyard - it was SO COOL to see it racing back and forth across the lawn, popping in and out of the tall grass, swishing through the woodlands, and twitching it's tail so quickly that it seemed like it was just a big blur. HOW MUCH FUN it was having - simply ENJOYING BEING ALIVE IN THIS DAY! Testing its ability, learning the terrain, exploring its world, spreading its wings. Of course after a few rounds of racing to and fro all surrounding its ever present mother deer, circling it like a comet in orbit around its center and eventually making its way back again to be close to her, letting her give him comfort, a good licking or simply a nuzzle of approval and unconditional love.

Pretty darn spiritual as it relates to us all if we think about it... I am that fawn now, ready to race about, trying out my legs, testing my ability...and knowing that Mother Nature is always near me, waiting patiently in case I need her...and always full of unconditional love.

Thank you Mother Nature, for all your gifts, for all your lessons. Simply for being present even when I am bouncing about in my own little world.