A friend once commented how while there are many things in this life that may be amazing in and of themselves, making a comparison between two things may diminish them both if you are comparing Apples and O's...so its best to enjoy each in their own rite. Now, while I have always gravitated toward water - in so many ways, I find myself now distinguishing between so many of my water-based rituals, some that are Apples which nourish my body and soul...and well, some that are simply O'ceans.

While all are amazing to my soul...this, THIS morning stood apart from all the rest -walking along the beach in Destin, the same beach where my sister and I spent our last magical retreat - laughing, dancing, sharing, being sisters...yes, this morning with it's warm breeze, it's glistening sun dancing on the waves crests of an emerald sea, it's pod of dolphins swimming along side my walk...this is not merely what the doctor ordered...this is my core. I stood for the longest time, in the sand, letting the waves splash over my feet...and I found myself sinking further into the sand - as if my soul was taking root to what has always been my home. Mother Ocean, sweat, tears...and me, all uniting - ever connected.

Family.

Some family you are born with, some you make along the way. I was blessed with two amazing sisters...and their terrific kids...and I have some of the most amazing friends who are undoubtedly my family by choice. I have to say, that even though I read so many things about detachment as a spiritual practice - I feel blessed in my attachment to the friends and family that I have - who share my world.

I'm spending time with my sister this month - and my two nieces (6 and 2). While her husband is preparing for their move to New Jersey, I'm lending a hand here to get their house on the market and simply to help out where I can. Oh My OHH, how naive I was (not having kids of my own I couldn't truly understand why my sis kept calling to ask when I was going to be there)...but for the last two days ---I now know much more about what it means to be a mom. A real Mom! From getting a wake up call at 3:00am and another "stealth bed crawler" at 6:30...my day starts "officially" at 7:00 and is non-stop until bedtime. Chaos, mayhem with lots of laughter and a touch of softness and awe and wrapped in a blanket of love is the best way to describe the course of the day...There definitely is no time for anything but IN THE MOMENT (which is exactly what I need right now).

But amid the chaos...there is a thread that weaves together the day - the quiet moment - kinda like Zero Point Energy (seemingly indistinguishable - but so mystical that you can't discount it - because IT is what makes infinite order out of the chaos...the nano-moments...that make life so precious, and why no matter what I read about "Detachment and Perspectives" - I say, no...LOVE, ATTACHMENT, FAMILY - all there is...this is the zero point "emptiness" that makes our existence meaningful. When a small soul crawls into your lap and lays her head on your breast to quietly be with you while listening to classical music, the nighttime ritual with her older sister, sharing the headphones of your ipod and the music that means so much to you - and sharing the day, the dreams, the imagination of a 6 year old - and her Auntie M. Having her turn to me and whisper softly " I love you, Auntie M"

My quiet moments - my family - my world - my attachments. I am truly blessed.

It's interesting that over the years, my morning rituals have changed so drastically...for the better I might add!

Years ago, I would wake up to an alarm clock (only after several snooze bashes...and already calculating in the equation that I set the alarm earlier than I needed to get up)...once up, it was a harried bustle of activity to get ready for work, then drive, drive, drive for an 8:00 meeting that I invariably would be late for...and that was the calm part of my day.

I don't miss that time in my life.

Now, my days start very differently. I never use an alarm clock - my morning starts when the sun's warm rays softly wake me, or if the sun is lazing behind some clouds, the soft fragile song of a nearby bird will step in to bring me back from where my dreams have taken me - ready to start the day. When I was in Austin - the day started with coffee, and a mediative beginning watching my backyard come to life. And my commute to work was only 10 minutes along a wonderfully winding tree-filled road to an office by the lake where roadrunners awaited my arrival and the soft chorus of birds welcomed me to work and urged me to start my morning's work.

Here in Tampa, I've just begun to find a new ritual to start my day. Yes, the stealth bed crawler is still my wake up call, followed by her younger sister calling out from her crib, heralding the dawn of a new day. Once breakfast has been served and the chaos slightly settled, I begin my personal morning ritual. A 2 mile run, followed by 1/2 mile swim. With less than a month away from my Tri, this regime is not only zen for my soul, but my body as well.

I read years ago, Robert Fulghum's "Rituals of our Lives' - about all the rituals we as humans have (some positive, some not so much - some very personal, some rites of passage, but rituals that help weave us back into a moment - this moment. And that is all we have. It was an interesting thought I had this morning, as I was concentrating on my stroke "Be The Yacht" (my mantra)...and watching the sun's prism thru the waves reflecting on the bottom of the pool. My thought was how wonderful this morning's ritual is, how peaceful to be feeling this water, soft and flowing around my body, how playful the sun and the water seem to be - inviting me to Be Nothing...but the Yacht and flow thru their existence in this moment.   Only..This...Moment....Only...This...Only...O.

My days start early now, but I've seemed to have carved a similance of a routine out of my chaotic bohemian existence...and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to have days like today. I start my day with my sister and two nieces...making breakfast for the kiddos and sending one off to school while the other begins her play day - filled with wonder and learning. When Ashley's mom returns from taking Scout to the bus stop, I start my two mile run and 1/2 mile swim (eek, can't believe the Tri is less than a month away). I'll definitely do it under 2 hours, but it would be nice to do it in 1:45 this year. Last year's swim kicked by @#$@ but only because I never spent anytime in the water -----AH not so this year. I so love swimming in the morning! I hope to be able to do that in the other places I'll end up throughout the year.

Anyhoo, my sales calls have been very productive, and I am SO in my element (and so not a 9-to-5er behind a desk)....totally warms my heart! Yesterday had an interesting turn of events in that I got totally lost looking for one of my contacts, but found myself in a "port" surrounded by very industrial looking "refineries" ...when I came across a huge building that had "Misener Marine Construction" on the sign - Hmmm, I was compelled to go in and introduce OGM to them...which I did.  And here, in Tampa, I end up meeting a company who is actually headquartered in Houston (my company's from Austin)...and they build barges, dredges, bridges, and environmental projects ----and SO can use our LED lights. One of the reasons I'm here is to work with a customer on a set of solar powered barge lights and Voila, a potential customer comes out of a wrong turn down a dusty old road next to a refinery. Now the interesting this is the "parent company name" ---Orion Marine Group (OMG)...my company is Orca Green Marine (OGM)...pretty cool stuff!

Oh, and my office called me this morning to tell me that our new product (an LED steaming/masthead light) just got USCG approved!!! YEAY!!!

Tonight when I got home, I played with the girls before dinner and as I was "cullowhrin" with them, I simply smiled and gave a quiet "thank you" for my day...filled with what I love to do, and being with the people I love.

This is how I define success :)

My sis and I decided to tag team the kiddos today since Scout was still sick, so I got mornings and she got the afternoon/eve...

My morning run was so amazing. I'm not sure why, but there was something special about today ---a clarity, a crispness. I only ran the 2 miles and didn't swim, but the air was clear, the sky was an azure blue, and there were a gazillion geckos in my path. And for some reason there were birds that seemed to stay close to me.

One other note before I forget ---my run two days ago ---something pretty cool happened: I had just finished my run and was walking the cool down, when I noticed next to me, a small leaf was being blown side by side with my stride. It made me smile because it seemed to be walking next to me...and I was listening to Secret Smile by Phish at the time...Dionisis, perhaps?

So my "quiet time" this morning (outside of my run) was to go to the beach. AHHHHH! I am SUCH an OceanBABY!

What made me smile today? Lots of things, I'll need another entry for the things that made me smile today...but what made me sigh today was that soft, silky, alright-I'll-Say-It__sensual feeling of beach sand that is pure powdered sugar against my skin.

*SIGH*

This week is drive week...I've been commuting to Naples and surrounding areas all week meeting with various customers. It's a long two hour commute to and fro, but I rather enjoy driving as it gives me time to think (and listen to music of course).

This day's drive found me somewhat nostalgic and contemplative on Love. It's a simple concept really, but somehow it seems to get twisted, entertwined, morphed and smeared into very interesting patterns in my life....and this is what I was thinking about on my drive this morning when all of a sudden - IT HIT...THEY HIT...The sea of LoveBugs -all split, splat, splattering onto my windshield....one, two, 10, 20, 100...smear, wipe, wash, smear some more. The more i tried to clean the windshield, the more they seemed to SPLAT! on  the remaining empty spaces. At first, I tried to strain to see between the spaces that their conjoined bodies left...but then I decided to look at them from a different perspective - one of unity, blurred, connected and look beyond them outward toward the streetsigns ahead. Suddenly they were no longer obstacles that blurred my vision, but actually artful patterns that created a mosaic of movement to the longer path before me. And then it dawned on me that they are very much like an ocean, like a rainstorm - of Love...like a raindrop Love comes to you...and you can opt to see if as one single drop or as a part of something bigger...a connection larger than a single entity ---a sea of LoveBugs all looking to fill your windshield if you allow them to -allow them to give themselves, their completeness for a fleeting second, for a moment of bliss - then nothingness/emptiness/all - changing

...and then I stopped for coffee :)

This month has been an amazing month for me...for my heart...for my soul. Being near the Ocean with my family, bonding, healing, finding my center again - the core of me - is exactly what my heart needed.

Now, I'm ready to take the next steps...and I'm no longer afraid of making the commitment to what is in my heart - and I can never settle for less than is my destiny.

The path is before me...my journey continues.